Jeremy Tager is our Senior Political Advisor, haunting the parliamentary offices in Canberra. Jeremy’s wondering what kind of magical tricks the Prime Minister will pull out of his hat to deal with the white elephant in the room at this year’s ALP Conference – climate change.
This week, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd will preside over the annual gathering of illusionists, delusionists, and undercover wizards at the ALP Annual Conference in Sydney.
Like most magic shows, this spectacle of deception will depend on the hard work that happens behind the curtain. While Kevin Rudd has been posturing on the international stage, his assistants have been preparing the script for the incantations and spells that will form the heart of the ALP National Conference. It is called the ALP Platform.
Some spells are transformative. Take the ALP policy on genetically engineered foods. Before the election, the ALP promise was that:
“Safe and beneficial standards must be established beyond reasonable doubt. Standards must be met to the satisfaction of the government and also of the scientific community, the consumer community and, in the case of GM crops, to the satisfaction of the farming community. Accurate information on GM products must be provided to consumers and the community. The onus of proof that a product is ‘safe and beneficial’ lies with its developers.
A fine platform but instead of being implemented, close observers will see it undergo a dramatic transformation. Kevin Rudd will wave his wand, mutter spells and hey presto, the standard will have shrunk to the size of a pea. There will be no standard of proof, no onus on industry to prove their genetically engineered foods are safe and no comprehensive labelling in order to protect consumers. Business as usual. Magic!
For his next trick, Rudd the magician will make entire promises, inconvenient truths and other bothersome beasts completely disappear. The mastery lies in not simply ignoring issues, but erasing problems without anyone noticing or dealing with them. Take the pre-election promise of the ALP to ban the import of illegal timber and timber products. The ALP has acknowledged that illegal logging in countries such as PNG has devastated traditional forest communities and undercut legitimate and sustainable Australian timber businesses. They know that preventing the import of illegal timber is the single most important step in driving changes in countries such as Papua New Guinea.
But the promise is gone, vanished as though it never existed. The fans of the Master will cheer his sleight of hand!
Ah but it seems wizard Rudd hasn’t quite perfected his powers. He is having some troubles with the ‘elephant in the room’ – otherwise known as climate change. While he won kudos for the pretty basic manouvre of admitting the elephant was there when he took over as PM, he is now having enormous troubles with the second part of the trick – making the elephant disappear or at least turn into a princess.
Kevin Rudd waves his wand, calls on the mystical spirits of the market, covers the elephant with a sheet and mutters magical incantations – like that most powerful spell, ‘Clean Coal, Carbon Capture and Storage’. The elephant is still there.
The PM pulls out his magical handkerchiefs, promises compensation, free permits to big polluters, anything! But the elephant remains. Rudd now deflects attention to the Coalition. “If the bastards would just come on board, this elephant would disappear,” he says.
The elephant snorts. “I’d gladly leave this room but it will take more than incantations and illusions. I’m afraid I’ll be here for awhile yet.”
Jeremy Tager
